Magnificent Me Moments – The essence of my being

A girl in a cape standing on a large pile of dirt. Text reads: New Blog! Magnificent Me Moments! Click through to read more and learn the significance of the pile of dirt.
Magnificent Me Moments are Hard!

In ADHD coaching school, we were challenged to come up with our own ‘Magnificent Me Moments’ or ‘Magnificent Me on the Mountain Moments’ depending on just how alliterative you want to get.  (David Gwerck, founder of ADDCA is extremely fond of alliterations)

 

We were told that this exercise would be impactful to our moving through the world with our own ADHD and that it would be one of the most powerful exercises we could share with our future clients.  

 

I was truly challenged by this task.  I started at ADDCA when I was still fairly burnt out from working in environments that didn’t suit my ADHD brain.  I was also recovering from the exhaustion that happened while becoming a single mom at the beginning of the pandemic and having to support online learning, a social kiddo with no social outlets, and providing all of our financial security. 

 

Those situations were resolved by my getting laid off, meeting the man of my dreams, and the kids going back to school all at least 6 months prior to when I was asked to do this exercise, yet still my brain just couldn’t cooperate.  

 

I knew this was important, though, so I kept at it.  I asked friends and family to recall moments where I seemed at the top of my game, where I seemed at peace and comfortable in my skin.  For a long time, I only had the first one and I couldn’t determine what it even meant.  

 

Maybe Now’s the Time?

Lately, I’ve felt the weight of my burnout start to lift.  Just a few weeks ago I sat down with my coach and asked them to do this exercise with me, and it finally came.  

As I completed this exercise, the power in seeing our lives as a series of achievements that are unique to us became clear.  I finally was able to see the connections between these moments in time that became themes in my life.  Repeated over and over again.  

 

My Magnificent Me Moments:

(aspects of my essence in bold)

  1. On an old schooner, late at night, standing on the bowsprit (safety gear on).  A storm, waves crashing over my head.  It was thrilling, wild, uncontrollable.  I was way out in front of the boat and felt like it was just the ocean, the storm, and me.  Letting go, just being, wildness  

  2. Getting in my car and driving across the country.  New starts, new beginnings, chasing dreams.  Throw everything up in the air and see where I land.  Exhilarating, fresh, new, leaving the bad behind.  The power to change, wildness

  3. Becoming a mom. Providing security, unconditional love, and independence as appropriate (though that last one sucks more than the others) and relishing in the astonishing process of this amazing human’s growth and emergence into the person they are today.  Service, love, forgiveness, creativity, perspective, humor, letting go

  4. Sitting in a meeting.  People talking in circles.  Me observing.  Unattached. Seeing, hearing, connecting.  I hear what they can’t.  Speaking up, seeing and reflecting mutual interest, intuition, providing perspective 

  5. Learning about ecology, the web of life.  The connectedness of all.  The patterns that repeat.  In nature, in city streets, in skylines.  Patterns, connections, perspective, curiosity, appreciation of nature.

  6. Getting together and falling in love.  Fast and hard.  Moving in.  Getting married.  Knowing it’s right. Intuition, Love, the power to change, letting go (aka letting it happen)

  7. Buying a house. After the architect and surveyor had been hired for the old house.  But this house is right.  It’s an old rundown craftsman. It has character and space and it fits our entire family.  Letting go, Intuition, love, creativity, love of a challenge

  8. Seeing the growth when I trust a person’s strength, wisdom, and capacity.  When I empower instead of teach and reflect instead of tell.  Intuition, creativity, perspective, letting go (of ownership of results)

 
About the Dirt and other Reflections

It is definitely hard, even now, to not throw dirt on these achievements.  I have to remember that the reason they were so hard to find in the first place is because they were buried in the muck.  

 

To help us recognize what that dirt can look like, I offer you a few examples of my dirt: 

  1. Sailing in a storm: I had nothing to do with that situation.  My grandparents paid for me to go on this sailing adventure and I didn’t really do anything.  All I did was sit on the bowsprit and get wet.  What was so special about that?  

    1. But I went on the adventure.  I got on that boat full of strangers.  On the first night I took one of the hardest jobs, one that most of the other kids were terrified of doing.  And it wasn’t really the doing of the job that told me much about myself, but the fact that doing it was so invigorating, so full of delight, so lacking in self-judgment that made it special.  

  2. Driving across the country: I thought that getting in my car and moving only meant that I was running away.  I thought I just had a case of ‘the grass is greener.’  But that wasn’t true

    1. There was something I was seeking that made me get in that care.  A change that had to happen.  I needed to put aside what ‘a good daughter’ should do.  What a ‘responsible young adult’ should do. In order to find what I sought.  And I did find what I was looking for at that point.  

  3. Becoming a mom: Most of us moms know how much dirt we can throw on ourselves for eight million aspects of a job for which there is no perfection.

    1. But I have seen my kid grow and thrive and turn into an amazingly complicated and beautiful teenager.  It’s hard every day and I know I still screw up regularly.  And that’s ok.  Alex knows they’re loved, they know they have a safety net, they know they can trust me.  The important things are taken care of.  

  4. Making connections in a meeting: Who’s proud of the fact that they can sit in a meeting?!?  Not only is sitting in a meeting a non-accomplishment, but I so rarely speak up in them.  What’s so special about this?

    1. What’s so special is that I am observant of body language and emotions.  I’m empathic and can often tell how folks are reacting to things.  I’m really good at making connections and being able to articulate those connections in a way that participants can find their mutual understanding.  

 
The Significance Became Clear

Now that I’ve uncovered them, the importance of all of these moments and experiences in my life point to my unique strengths.  But it’s not only my strengths I see here, it’s the essence of my being.  The fact of these are the moments of importance I chose points to who I am in my purest form.  

 

I’m a lover of: nature, change, development and growth, patterns, connections, relationships, creativity, challenges, individual and mutual perspectives, wildness, and trust.

 

Finding these moments for me explained so many aspects of my life.  They also allowed me to remove some of the dirt I’d thrown on my essence.  

I feel brighter and less burdened now.  I feel more secure.  It’s almost like the act of finding my magnificent me moments created a new magnificent me moment! (cue Twilight Zone music)

 

A Challenge for You

As mentioned above, it’s not easy to find these moments for ourselves, but I would challenge you to try.  It might not happen all at once.  The search might be a little painful.  But the results are worth the work.  They can be truly life-changing.  

If you would like assistance in finding your Magnificent Me Moments, or in any other area of your life, please don’t hesitate to reach out. 

 

In growth and with love,

 

~Sue

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